Earth-based Thanksgiving

As I struggle with our celebration of Thanksgiving, I think about the hardships of the Pilgrim settlers, but more about the sorrowful colonization of the Native Americans. I read a touching story by a woman of the Dineh nation, titled Thanksgiving: A Native American View.

This year, I have compiled three prayers that help me feel the thankfulness of the day while also honoring the Native American experience. I include St. Francis of Assisi because of our family's Christian relatives and secular Christian identity.


Thanksgiving Prayer
We return thanks to our mother, the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams, which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and stars, which have given to us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to the sun, that has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit, in Whom is embodied all goodness, and Who directs all things for the good of Her children.

~ Iroquois Prayer, adapted


For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


The Canticle of the Creatures
Most High, all-powerful, all-good Lord,
All praise is Yours, all glory, honor and blessings.
To you alone, Most High, do they belong;
no mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your Name.

We praise You, Lord, for all Your creatures,
especially for Brother Sun,
who is the day through whom You give us light.
And he is beautiful and radiant with great splendor,
of You Most High, he bears your likeness.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Moon and the stars,
in the heavens you have made them bright, precious and fair.
We praise You, Lord, for Brothers Wind and Air,
fair and stormy, all weather's moods,
by which You cherish all that You have made.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Water,
so useful, humble, precious and pure.

We praise You, Lord, for Brother Fire,
through whom You light the night.
He is beautiful, playful, robust, and strong.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Earth,
who sustains us
with her fruits, colored flowers, and herbs.

We praise You, Lord, for those who pardon,
for love of You bear sickness and trial.
Blessed are those who endure in peace,
by You Most High, they will be crowned.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Death,
from whom no-one living can escape.
Woe to those who die in their sins!
Blessed are those that She finds doing Your Will.
No second death can do them harm.

We praise and bless You, Lord, and give You thanks,
and serve You in all humility.

~ St. Francis of Assisi

Giving birth: life and creation

Finding out that I was indeed not pregnant, with a visit from la regla (in Spanish), I have been thinking about creating life. My first- and only- pregnancy gave me the experience of giving birth, and what it feels like to be a part of creation.

I read in Starhawk's The Earth Path this weekend, that the traditional (Judeo-Christian) creation story simply does not make sense with our eco-feminist experiences. Women bring life into the world through sweat, pain, and hella physical involvement. Yet, the Judeo-Christian creation story claims that a male god gave birth to the earth, and only with commandments, not any physical involvement whatsoever (except maybe a little of his breath blowing on the waters or some such nonsense).

After reading about this in Starhawk's book, I thought about how offended I felt. Here I had given birth to a beautiful daughter, through my own hard labor- hours of hard labor- and I'm supposed to believe that our earth and all its living inhabitants were "delivered" simply be a man saying "do it"? It is tough to swallow, now knowing first-hand what the delivery process really entails for a woman.

A man doesn't deserve the credit.


b.b.

Northern Illinois Deer in Winter

Yesterday, while enjoying some forest preserve time with my husband and daughter, we tried to find deer. After not seeing a single deer, I pondered: What do deer do in the winter? Do they hibernate? So here are a couple answers to what they do during the winter in Illinois:

Wiki Answers: They will find a place where there is little snow, like under a short tree. Or in a thicket of bushes.

The Wilderness Classroom: Deer like to eat a variety of different vegetation. In the summer they eat acorns, green plants, nuts, fruits, and aquatic plants. In the fall they switch to eating grasses and evergreen plants. During the winter they eat woody plants because that is all that is available. A varied diet is important for deer because it allows them to get the right nutrients at different times of the year. If winter lasts a long time than often starvation will kill the deer because of a lack of nutrient rich trees.

Nixon et al: Studies of large mammals suggest that most migration behavior is learned from kin, not genetically fixed. In Illinois, however, where landscapes are flat, forages are seasonally abundant and winter weather seldom threatens deer, such behaviors, while rare, are still present. Indeed, migration behavior was observed from the earliest years of deer reintroduction in Illinois, as deer moved seasonally toward and away from the Rock River in northern Illinois. The climate of Illinois is temperate continental, with cold winters and warm summers. Jan., the coldest month averages -3.1 C, and Jul., the warmest, averages 23.6 C in central Illinois. In most years, snow seldom covers the ground for extended periods even in northern Illinois.

Snow seldom covers the ground for extended periods even in northern Illinois? I beg to differ! Last year, I don't remember seeing the ground at all during winter, only snow. So what do the deer do then? Did they migrate last year to south of Chicago?

This post begins my new attempt to learn more about my local ecosystem. Schools don't teach it any more, though at the turn of the 20th Century, it was required coursework in American public schools. Perhaps my daughter will grow up knowing more about her local ecosystem than I ever did.


Blessed Be.

Dante's Prayer, by Loreena McKennitt

When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and the fire

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We'll rise above these earthly cares

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me...


b.b.

Dream Sequence #4

Where is all that noise coming from?

I was naked, but I still needed to go to the window to see where that noise was coming from. Sure enough, it was coming from Marie's unit. Her dog was watching TV, and the volume was up as loud as it will go. And it wasn't even her dog! It was someone else's dog in her apartment!

"So what is all the noise?" My husband asked as he entered the bedroom.

"It's dumb-butt's dog watching TV again, except it's not even her dog this time. It's someone else's dog. I hope I run into her again. I'll give her a piece of my mind."

b.b.

Thr First Friend I Lost

John was the first friend I lost, lost because of my religious searching. He was an adult chaperon on a trip I took as a teenager, and for years we kept in touch afterward. I saw him as a mentor and friend, though he was a solid 15 years older than me. One day I confided in him that I was questioning the Christian faith, and searching in other religions for something that fit me better. He condemned me; he scolded me (over email) for questioning my faith.

Soon thereafter, I married an amazing man- the love of my life. I invited John to the wedding, only to find that he was no longer answering emails. There was no wedding RSVP from him.

Looking back now, I realize that such common things- like expanding our minds and exploring our world- can end relationships. I live a double life, writing this blog, and never telling any family members or Christian friends about my new found love of paganism. But I fear losing them, as I lost John. He was only a friend, and I only rarely miss his advice and commentary on life. But how could I bear a similar experience with my parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my closest friends from college?

I continue living this hidden life. I hope that someday paganism will be accepted and valued in our society. In this world I imagine, gays can marry, women have rights over their body, the environment is more than just an afterthought, and pagans live peacefully without witch-hunts.

b.b.

My Life as a Baobob

Yes, if I were a tree, I would choose to be a baobob. Not only are they unique and bit freaky, but every part of the tree can be used for some practical purpose. You can build a canoe out of it, eat its fruit, enjoy its shade, admire its aesthetic strangeness. After re-watching my favorite movie this weekend, The Fountain, I see this tree as embodying the message of "death as an act of creation." In the death of a baobob, many other living beings are allowed to keep creating.

Thanks to sweet friend, un-named, for sending this picture from Africa, where she helps educate about and fight AIDS.

Blessed be.

Dream Sequence #3

I could tell my daughter was hungry. Panicking, I searched the room for something she would eat. Nothing. Then I remembered- I had packed a large skillet, a gallon of peanut butter, and a two-foot banana. I quickly mixed the two in the skillet and began to fry. This would be perfect for her to eat.

My science book lay beside me while I cooked. Oh hell, I forgot my science test was tomorrow. I served up the food for her to start eating while I quickly crammed for the test in my bedroom. How could I read an entire science book in one night and be ready for the exam? I had not attended any classes, has not read any of the book, and had not done any of the assignments. I opened the book up to Chapter 1: Teletubies explain science. I turned on my daughter's Teletubies dvd, knowing it would help me remember what I read.

"Hey, what'cha doin'?" My husband walked in the room and began to seductively lie down next to me. Not now, not when I need to read an entire Teletubies science book! I looked up at the tv without answering him. I needed this information to sink in.

The Teletubies show has Kelsey Grammar playing my husband, and it drew me in more. He was naked, and looked exactly like my husband. I glanced over at my husband, confused, and realized that I wanted him more than anything at that moment; I could not resist my desire for him. We started making out, rolling over each other on the bed. I decided that the Teletubies science test could wait. Maybe I'd ask the professor if I could take an incomplete for the semester.


b.b.

The World Has Changed

Our nation has changed, and thus the world has changed. We influence the world profoundly. I say the following only half-jokingly.

The world changed in 2008 when America's Next Top Model winner was a plus-sized model.

The world changed in 2008 when the American Idol winner turned out to be a guy with actual talent.

The world changed in 2008 when Americans elected Barack Obama president.

The world is forever changed.

blessed be.

Bodicea

Sadly, I cannot find much information on my new person-of-the-moment, Bodicea. I only know she was a Celtic warrior / goddess mentioned in a book I read last week. Here is the book. Here is what I've learned of Bodicea (and here). I have found a Wikipedia article on her, under the name Boudica.

I am suburbian woman warrior; I fight my enemies naked, with blue paint covering my unmentionables. I haunt Lincolnshire.


b.b.

Dream Sequence #2

Coming out of the movie theater, I saw him walking toward me, and I wondered to myself: How can I spend more time with him? His walk was more forceful than usual, and I saw something in his face that could have been anger or just plain stress. With his towering height, it almost frightened me, but also aroused me. He looked up an noticed me, not slowing his step at all until about two feet before me.

"Are you okay? You don't look so good." I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I knew there was a very good chance he'd reject that.

"I can't believe it! How could they have done something like this?" He was shouting, people were staring, and his long arms were making gestures that could have knocked out a small child. I didn't care a bit; I wanted to hold him and cradle him to make whatever this was go away.

At that minute, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I realized I was late meeting Megan. He told me he was running back to his room, so he walked away from me, starting up his long strides of anger again. I felt like a piece of me had been torn out; how could someone who doesn't even want me have such a tight hold on me?

I walked back home, the 8 blocks of upity neighborhood that I walked through every day to get to class. Megan was in the park waiting for me, also looking like she needed a shoulder to cry on. I listened to her latest heartbreak and then shared of my encounter with him. She gave me a motherly smile, the kind that says "I know exactly what you're thinking."

"I think I need to get home and make a phone call."

She shot her secretive smile at me and replied, "I know."

I called him on my cell phone while I was still 3 blocks from home, hoping he would answer.

"Hello?" His voice sounded somewhat calmer, but still agitated.

"Hi. It's me. Do you want to talk?"

"Yes. I'm walking to your place now." My heart raced. He thought of me and wanted to come to me in his time of need. Maybe it meant nothing, but I could still cherish the time with him.

I decided to cut over to Main Street and try to intercept him. I got there, turned right, and saw him a couple blocks south of me still. I started running, craving the emotional connection that I wanted him to feel for me. I felt at home in his arms. I felt safe tucking my face into his neck. Please, please let him feel that for me.

I got to him a little out of breath, looked up at him questioningly, and waited to see what he wanted. He wrapped his arms around me. I was home.

I loved you the first time I met you.

You broke my heart and I loved you.

We got married and I loved you.

Our child came and I loved you.

Through the distance or haze, I love you.

b.b.

Entering the Darkness: Samhain / Halloween

Halloween isn't a candy holiday; it's a holiday of fear. We fear for our children when they trick-or-treat; we fear for the candy that strangers give them; we fear their costumes are too revealing; we fear that weirdos will use the day as an excuse for violent crimes; we fear the dead walking among us; we fear the darkness.

Life's mysteries happen in the dark. We are created in the womb, in darkness. When we die, we return to darkness of our soils. Halloween / Samhain acknowledges the mysteries of life that happen in darkness, and begins a new year in darkness. The new year begins as our dark season begins. The day itself begins as the sun sets, leaving us to wonder in the presence of the darkness.

May we fear less and embrace the mysteries of the dark.


Blessed be.